At Amazon, the HQ2 Final Rose Ceremony is Turning Into a Mess (Have a Listen to this Angry Amazon Executive)

Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek. 

This is the part where the contestants start to fight among themselves.

Or, perhaps, the judges do.

I imagine, you see, that you’re either still enthralled by the reality show that is the search for Amazon’s next headquarters or so bored with it that you’ve devolved to watching Dancing With the Stars again.

Yesterday, I wrote about how the Washington Post had sent a strong, supposedly informed signal that Crystal City, Virginia would be the one to receive Jeff Bezos’s final rose.

You know, the one that comes with the proposal for the chosen contestant to give Amazon vast favors in return for betrothal.

It seems the Post’s revelation didn’t go down well at, oh, Amazon. 

The company’s director of Economic Development and Global Public Policy, Mike Grella took to BravoTV — I’m sorry, to Twitter — to rail against the person who’d allegedly leaked to the Post: 

Memo to the genius leaking info about Crystal City, VA as #HQ2 selection. You’re not doing Crystal City, VA any favors. And stop treating the NDA you signed like a used napkin.

So it’s true, then, I hear you snort.

Because you’ve been watching this show for some time and think you know what the scripting ghostwriters require.

They do like their secrecy at Amazon.

What a mess this has all become.

That’s what can happen when you string a reality series out for so long and the contestants — and, who knows, even the judges — get bored of the rigmarole.

Indeed, Grella wasn’t done. 

He whipped off another annoyed tweet that attempted to be witty:

‘Experts’ say following Bezos’s jet may reveal #HQ2 winner… the finalists are apparently Davos (WEF), Sun Valley (Allen & Co.), Rome (vacation), & Hollywood (Oscars). In other news Google, FaceBook, Tesla moving HQ to Black Rock Desert, NV #BurningMan

Mefears that Grella protesteth too much.

Or could it be that neither he nor the alleged leaker know anything at all?

Then again, surely the Washington Post has faith in its source. After all, its owner, Jeff Bezos wouldn’t be happy if his newspaper was printing nonsense about his company.

And then I hear the cries of the conspiracy theorist seated in the corner. The theorist mutters:

Perhaps this is a marvelous ruse by Bezos to put sleuths off the scent. HQ2’s really going to Toronto. 

I asked Amazon for its thoughts on Grella’s thoughts on the alleged leaker’s thoughts.

I’ll update, should I hear.

Oh Lordy. Where’s BravoTV’s Andy Cohen and ABC’s Chris Harrison when we need their reassuring commentary the most?

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