Question by : Is this a good few opening paragraphs for my story?
I’m trying to write a story about a spy school, I’m twelve and I really want to become a writer. This is the first story I’m trying to write, here are my opening paragraphs, let me know what you think:
The landscape rushed past the windows changing from fields to rivers to villages and back again whilst the interior of the train was warm and comfy. Outside the window the weather seemed angry, dense clouds covered the grey sky and rain fell furiously, splashing against the train windows. All the way down the train students were sharing summer news or discussing what they were going to do first when they reached their final destination – their school, St. Chad’s.
The new prefects of St. Chad’s were travelling in their own compartment as they as always did, travelling back to a secret school with a big secret: St. Chad’s was a school for spies with the real name of St. Chad’s Academy for Underage Spies in Training…
After long hours of card games and endless gossip the train began to slow revealing a deserted train station with no one but a small group of teachers to show the new students up to the school safely. The train slowed to a standstill and the students began opening the heavy metal doors.
Hearts beating loudly the new prefects descended onto the platform along with all the other students, new and old. Heaving their heavy trunks packed with all their school books and equipment; freshly laundered uniforms; casual clothes and money for days when the pupils of St. Chad’s were allowed to visit the local town either for practical lessons or leisure – Newbury.
At first the packed crowds and steam billowing from the train’s funnel made it nearly impossible to see the exit. Finally once all the students were off the train they made their way towards the exit sign above their heads, creaking in the wind.
Let me know what you think, please.
Answer by nightmusic
I find it hard to believe you’re only 12. It’s very good.
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