Opinions on This Please?

Question by Emily: Opinions on this please?
Yes, I’m back with yet another start to yet another story. Please be honest :) Thank you.

I stared at the rippling sky blue water. The surface danced with the iridescence of diamonds, plucking at the edges of my reflection with a fragile touch as the current pulled the babbling water downstream. Faded images of soft sea grass wiped away the imperfections from my wavering image. Perfection stared back at me. I picked up a sand polished stone from the river bank and turned it over in my palm. The surface was a flawless canvas. I closed my hand around the stone and tried to picture defacing it. Cracks coiled outwards like a spider web. The glowing honey-amber color began to fade and dark scars were scratched into its tormented face. Yet, as quick as the imperfections appeared, they receded into their host.
I opened my hand. The stone remained as the stone began. Perfect. Not even my mind could break the hold it had on my life. With a half hearted throw I tossed the stone into the river. It broke through the surface with ease, shattering my perfect face into puzzle pieces. Moments later the picture was once again mocking me. No gash across my face. No blood. No scars. No trace.
I was tired of looking perfection in the eyes. Yet I could never look away. Everywhere I turned I saw it; dazzling, beautiful, mesmerizing perfection. The sky was so blue; too blue. It was like someone had pulled a paint brush across a page to create a coating of unblemished color. The clouds were crafted of woven silk and dipped in creamy ivory. Each blade of grass shimmered with a glow that could only be described as unbelievable. The air I breathed managed to acquire perfection; the ideal balance of oxygen and nitrogen that allowed life to be lived to its fullest. Even my own reflection was bound by its harsh laws. I was a prisoner.

Best answer:

Answer by iluvpaix
That’s FANTASTIC.

Wonderful imagery, description, variance of sentence structure, and flow. I love the second paragraph. Continue writing! Good luck.

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2 Responses to “Opinions on This Please?”

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  1. Wodke Hawkinson says:

    Excellent writing.

  2. Reno says:

    I loved the description and details. It pulled me right in! Wonderful job.